Just a teenage dirtbag

Starting this blog has really made me question a lot of things. For instance, why I started it. An obvious question, perhaps. A lot of my friends have started blogs, I think mainly spurred by Tavi. And I'm not going to lie, she is an inspiration to start to a blog. There's nothing to be lost from venting your thoughts, after all. But it's also made me look back at my old blogs, or livejournal to be more specific.
Rewind to 2005. I was sweet 16. And I was FULL of teenage angst, riddled with it. Looking back over that journal now, and I find it really hard not to laugh at myself. I was manically depressed one day, frantic and hyper the next. The world was coming to an end. I would tire and cry and punch angry posts out onto my livejournal, hot tears streaming down my face as I listened to appropriately screamy music, punctuating every sentence with swear words and using the strike-through tool wherever appropriate or inappropriate. The titles of the posts would always be song lyrics, I'd sickeningly use words like fest, kitsch and doll face at least a zillion times and my like minded friends would comment back, saying how deep it was. Once finished, I'd trot downstairs and eat Super Noodles and fruit roll ups before meeting up with my 'bestie' to take hundreds of emo style photographs. Tragic.
Then along came MySpace, and the livejournal started to dwindle. It was social networking for my generation, Facebook at the time seemed too cool, too grown up. We were all still so full of ourselves that we needed to make everything our own, and facebook didn't offer what Myspace could in the way of personalisation. Then came my first real boyfriend. Que a few gushy romantic posts about being together forever and finally finding someone who fully understood me, and the livejournal was dead. I'd found life outside the web, I was too busy to write about every little mundane part of my life, because suddenly my life had real content; a plot, involving boyfriends, broken friendships, A Levels, university applications, jobs... It all ended. A shame, really, because the few posts from the journal I can still access are utterly classic.
I think Tavi might look back at her blog one day and feel the same. She's talented, yes. But she's still in that awkward teenage bubble. Tavi's blog is far more civilised and productive than my teenage bullshit ever was, but I imagine it's still the product of angst, the same angst I channelled into my pitiful livejournal. Give it a few years, a bit of growing up, and I would almost guarantee that her blog will shed away from her, a dead shell. I can't read her blog for any length of time for that reason; the quirky teenage lingo that elders find amusing makes me cringe. It's all too familiar.