You fickle fashionistas

So, if recent reports are true, the IT bag is once again in fashion and you can kiss goodbye to your investment pieces in favour of one hit wonders. How disgusting. A bag is for life, not just a season guys. My mother’s blush pink Bayswater has seen no fewer than four YEARS on the back bowed elbows of two generations, and with a little leather polish and a lot of love, the bag does good. So what do a few biro marks matter, the odd scuff or lost screw? I don’t see what’s so wrong with things that last. For someone so utterly engrossed in the frivolous world of fashion, I for one find it excruciatingly frustrating having more than two bags on the go at one time. Where’s my lip balm, my oyster card, my wet wipes and the hundreds upon thousands of receipts/shopping lists/sweet wrappers that I hold so dearly to my heart and cart around with me on a daily basis (the weight of which must equal a small baby marsupial…or possibly two)? I’ll tell you. They’d be spread about in ANOTHER past season bag, that’s where. Probably lurking, dejected, at the back of my wardrobe, plotting it’s dramatic re-entry to my life, where upon it scatters said lip balm (now old), oyster card (now replaced), wet wipes (dried up) and hundreds upon thousands of receipts/shopping lists/sweet wrappers all over my floor right when I don’t need it to. PAH. I don’t need that in my life, no siree. I’d rather stay devoted to my happy balding Bayswater and 2.55 if it’s all the same to you.
Having said all this, I’ll happily lust after your filthy one season stand IT bags if you can’t hack monogamy accessory relationships! An IT bag must be three things; extravagant, divine and, most likely, colourful. They are the prick teases of the fashion world, so don’t expect your love to last long.

Mulberry Alexa clutch £430

Deerskin Miu Miu bag £970

Judith Leiber beehive £4320

Marc by Marc Jacobs bag £385

All images courtesy of netaporter

Sponge Me!

So, I finally caved and got the gorgeously kooky Chanel transfer tattoos. And when I say finally, I am aware their release was barely two minutes ago but, believe me, that was a long wait!! I have blogged about these temporary beauties before, and was all up for getting them, but after a lot of hassle being put on the waiting list (Harrods: "I'm sorry, we don't do a waiting list.." Me: "Well, why don't you start one and whack my namesake on it?" Harrods: "...OK") and a rather cutting article from Lisa Armstrong damning them, I curbed my enthusiasm and contented myself with biscuits and things.
But there I was, wandering through Selfridges, when I saw the utterly fabulous pop up Chanel shack a la S/S 2010 and before I knew where I was, I was perched on an unstable stool whilst some lovely lady sponged some cute little swallows on my blades and chatted to me about life, the universe and everything Chanel. The nice assistants will apply a tattoo or two on for you if you like when you buy your tattoos from there. At £49, they're about the cheapest slice of Chanel catwalk you're going to get. And, they're VERY fun. Go on, festoon yourself with them.

Curiouser and curiouser...

My poor mother has come down with a cold, and embarked in the age old tradition of my family; when illness strikes, snuggle under a blanket with a cup of tea in front of QVC and giggle, through your Lemsip haze, at the dross they try to sell. The sad thing is through all our sneering, we’re usually engrossed by one product ten minutes in and onto the phone pronto to order some sort of life changing magic sponge. Thankfully, the product that caught my mother’s attention the other day was a lovely little collection of OPI nail polishes, inspired by Alice In Wonderland, and I wait excitedly for the postman to arrive with them!

Excuse my pun, but the world’s gone mad as a hatter for Alice In Wonderland products and I, for one, could not be happier. Tea parties, white rabbits and dashings of insanity…. What’s not to like? Not usually a fan of all things bling unless they come with a carot rating, I was entranced by the sophistication and quirky nature of the Swarovski collection to celebrate Burton’s latest film.

Top of the shops

Give me a bit of sunshine, and I’m onto the cider, ready to make daisy chains and all up for doing a cheeky little jig to Paul Simon. Out in my little floral tea dress last week, I realised it was still BLOODY cold and had to leg it back to the flat to pick up my fur coat; the perfect remedy to nippy elbows and knees in the deceptively sunny Springtime. Note: fur is not for the faint hearted, especially if you are around a big department store, e.g Harrods, when a bunch of protestors, i.e PETA, decide to take against you and shout profanities, for example ANIMAL MURDERER, as you make a break for the tube. Now, you might think to yourself, there speaks a girl of experience. And you’d be right. Oh, the hilarity.
Moving swiftly on, sometimes I pop in to Topshop and think to myself, what the dickens are they doing. And other times I load up those massive black mesh bags with enough outfits to suit and boot Sleeping Beauty, Flora, Fauna and Merryweather for a full 365 days. And it is good. Topshop usually snares me into such a mindset this time of the year, so I’m avoiding their flagship store, feeding my credit cards to the dog and harmlessly browsing online. Here’s what I’d be skipping about in if I hadn’t just spent the best part of £50 on contact lenses. Ah, the gift of sight. Lucky me.






Weirdly enough, I bought the red bowed shoes from Topshop a good year or so ago, and am pleased to see they’ve bought them back. They are THE most comfortable shoes. Lovely.
All images from www.topshop.com

Whoops

So, I said I was back from my bloggy slumber, and by jove and by golly gosh, I was flipping lying… well, I didn’t know I was lying at the time, I did truly intend to get back to my blogging ways. I could sit and write a thousand excuses as to why I was so absent, but all I really care about is this –

It’s lovely though, isn’t it? Now blog, let’s try to be civil and be friends again.
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